Public Enemy #1 (at CC)

I think I may have worn out my welcome at Caribou Coffee. I ordered a muffin this morning. I usually like to have a little butter on my muffin but I know Caribou Coffee doesn't have butter so I ask for a little container of cream cheese, which I know they have. Only it turns out that this tiny little container of cream cheese costs 50 cents! Can you imagine? I think I may have told the checkout person that I was going to report them to the Department of Commerce or some such nonsense and then I told them to take their crummy cream cheese and shove it! Needless to say, I think I may be banned for life from this particular Caribou Coffee.

Which brings me to my next point. Why can't the places that serve iced coffee serve any decent breakfast accompaniments? The places in Oakland (Starbucks and Caribou Coffee) have terrible rolls, doughnuts, and pastries. And Panera doesn't have iced coffee! There is no doubt about it - we need a Dunkin Donuts in Oakland in the worst way.

I can't take it anymore

Please, no more interviews of the athletes at the Olympics. I love watching these amazing competitors but why do I have to be subjected to these idiotic cliche-filled interviews? And the next reporter who asks an athlete the "what was going through your mind" question should be thrown in the pool and pummelled senseless by the Croatian water polo team.

I actually wouldn't mind if the interviewers asked the athletes questions that weren't related to sports. Let's see what Michael Phelps thinks about hyperinflation in Zimbabwe. Now that, at least, would be entertaining.

Overkill

Without a doubt, the most overdone information campaign I have ever seen in my life is the one alerting folks about the conversion of over the air television signals from analog to digital in February, 2009.

First of all, it is unnnecessary. I don't know anybody who still uses an antenna to watch TV, do you? I'm sure there still are a few million folks out there who don't have cable yet, but I have a feeling that even if their TV signal was to disappear in February, 2009 without any advance warning, they wouldn't be all that upset. I mean, they're only getting a few channels now as it is, so what's the big deal? They'd get around to figuring out what was going on sooner or later all by themselves. And then they could go out and get a converter. Why do the rest of us have to be blasted with announcements for an entire year that a few people will lose their precious over the air signal? It makes no sense!

Secondly, I can see that the cable companies are exploiting this situation and misinforming their customers. Even though you will still be able to get analog signals through your cable company for at least a few more years, Comcast is not including this information in their sales pitch for upgrading to digital cable. They are sneakily (and correctly) assuming that most customers will not be aware that the cessation of analog transmission only applies to over the air signals.

I don't know which is worse - these antenna TV warnings or the political ads. Maybe I should be happy with the talking animal ads.

Branching Out

I have decided that senile rants on crappy customer service might be getting a little tiresome, so I will henceforth be branching out on other blogworthy subjects.

As you know, we are very much a copycat nation, with everyone copying the latest trends regarding everything from handbags to automobiles. This occurred to me while watching TV, as it struck me that commercials on televison now almost always fall into one of two categories. The first category is the commercial that makes no sense and leaves you wondering, "what the heck was that all about and what does it have to do with the product they want us to buy?" The second category is the commercial featuring talking animals, which is definitely the new rage. In fact, I predict that before long every single commercial will feature a talking animal and will make no sense.

Starbucks Misadventure #1

After my morning bike ride to work in Oakland, I usually stop at Caribou Coffee for a coffee and a little bite to eat. I prefer Caribou over Starbucks because 1) they have better air conditioning at Caribou, 2) it's usually less crowded at Caribou, and 3) I just hate Starbucks. Unfortunately, for some reason the line at Caribou was really long this morning so I headed over to the Starbucks across the street. Sure enough, the air conditioning was tepid. And wouldn't you know, they totally forgot my iced coffee order. I think the baristas are so focused on the fancy half caf mocha choca ya-ya drinks (sorry - I am plagiarizing from a Jerry Seinfeld routine), that when a simple iced coffee is ordered, it just doesn't register. And also pissing me off was the fact that an iced coffee, pastry, and newspaper at Starbucks cost about $1.50 more than at Caribou!

Starbucks Misadventure #2

I normally avoid Starbucks like the plague, but while in Somerset recently I had an uncontrollable urge for iced coffee, so I was forced to pay a visit. There's one in Somerset right off the turnpike exit. So I walk in and I notice that they have no prices posted for either hot coffee or iced coffee. When I bring this to their attention, they just say that they only put up the signs with the items and prices that Starbucks Central ships to them. This I figure is just a lame excuse for laziness or inattention to detail, or both, so my visit is not getting off to a promising start.

I then order my grande iced coffee and they ask me the usual (sweetened or unsweetened, room for cream?). I answer unsweetened and room for cream, please. So when I get my beverage, they have already added the cream! I mean what is this, Dunkin Donuts? They seemed to be totally nonplussed (I always have wanted to use that word) when I told them they're not supposed to put the cream in. Anyway, if you happen to visit the Starbucks in Somerset, PA be prepared for some surprises.

Customer Service From Hell

My kids are currently travelling in Australia. Before they left, we went through great pains to make sure they had cell phone service while abroad. Supposedly, this is a piece of cake when you activate the international roaming service through AT&T wireless. It's probably a bit more expensive than other alternatives, but the simplicity of it all made it very attractive. So we activated the international roaming service before the trip expecting everything to go smoothly. Boy, was I wrong!

My daughter calls me from Australia from a landline to tell me that her phone doesn't work. So I call AT&T customer service and this is the comedy of errors that ensued:

Customer Service Agent #1 - She tells me that the international roaming service should be in effect on the phone and she doesn't know why it doesn't work. But she does give me another number to call that specifically addresses international phone service.

Customer Service Agent #2 - She tells me that the international roaming service somehow did not register to the phone when it was initially ordered. The solution is to discontinue the service and then reinstate it. However, she cannot do this so she has to transfer me to another agent.

Customer Service Agent #3 - She tells me that she cannot do what Customer Agent #2 wanted her to do because my phone service is technically on a business plan and she cannot handle any service on a business plan. So she transfers me to -

Customer Service Agent #4 - This idiot tells me that my daughter's phone won't work in Australia because it doesn't have the proper bandwidth. I know this is wrong because every previous agent has checked this and said that the phone should work fine. I walk him through the AT&T website location where you can check to see if your phone will work overseas and I actually have to convince him that the phone is not the problem. Then he goes ahead and does what Customer Service moron #2 had initially recommended.

So after all this, I am dubious that my daughter's cell phone will ever get any service in Australia. My favorite piece of advice I kept getting from all of the agents was to have my daughter call this great toll-free customer service number from her cell phone so AT&T could troubleshoot the problem. I had to point out to them that she can't call the customer service number because the phone doesn't get any service!