Money Changing Woes Continue

It happened again today. My bagel and coffee cost $4.04. I gave the cashier $10.10. He gave me six dollar bills in return. I politely advised him that he still owed me six cents change. He was totally confused. Finally he gave me back a dime.

This is really starting to get worrisome. I really think it is an indictment of our educational system. All of the cashiers I've encountered recently that don't know how to make change are young. Unfortunately for them (and me), they are using cash registers where the change is not calculated automatically so they have to do it in their head and they are obviously not up to the task. At some places the cashier enters the amount of cash submitted by the customer and the register figures out the change automatically, so it's almost impossible for the cashier to screw up, but I'm sure they'll figure out a way eventually. Maybe I'll just go cashless and use my credit card for everything, but I really don't like using plastic for small transactions. It tends to make my credit card bill as long as War and Peace.

Land of the Challenged Money Changers

Didn't Jesus go berserk when the money changers pissed him off? Well, I was almost tempted to pull a comparable tantrum when I last visited Starbucks. I was charged $4.07 for a coffee and apple fritter. By the way, can't Starbucks get some decent pastries? Those things really suck! But I digress.

I gave the sweet young thing behind the counter $4.27 and she gives me a dollar bill as change. When I patiently explained to her that she owed me twenty cents, she looked at me like I was from outer space. Finally, a co-worker had to come by to instruct her on the finer points of making change. I think the trend towards using debit or credit cards for all transactions these days, no matter how tiny, has nothing to do with speed or convenience. It's because no one knows how to make change anymore!

Oh Joy in Muffin Land!

I know you're probably sick of my search for the perfect muffin, but I couldn't help myself because all is well in Muffin Land. Yes, the Giant Eagle on Centre Avenue finally got its act together and has a cart dedicated to muffins and bagels with everything clearly labeled. So today I hade a delicious raisin bran muffin and made up with the staff I have been terrorizing since they downsized their muffin selection a few weeks ago.

Don't Mess With the Muffin Man

I almost lost it at the Giant Eagle this morning. I decided to give them another chance despite the fact that they have downsized their muffin selection. So I go up to the bakery and was again disappointed that they didn't have any of their scrumptious raisin bran muffins. However, they did have some decent looking "good morning" muffins so I picked up one of those and went to get a cup of coffee and then pay for my breakfast at the coffee shop. Lo and behold, they had a solitary raisin bran muffin in a tray right next to the cash register. So I asked if I could exchange my crappy "good morning" muffin for their delicious raisin bran muffin and I was refused, since I had already touched the aforementioned "good morning" muffin. Yes, as my leprous, plague-riddled hands had touched their precious muffin, it was no longer fit for human consumption by anyone other than yours truly.

I was so pissed off that I really wanted to throw that muffin right in the checkout person's face. However, I resisted that temptation for fear of the headline I was visualizing in next day's newspaper - "Deranged Man Arrested for Assault With a Deadly Muffin".

All Drivers Suck (Except Me, Of Course)

I've often dreamed about having this car accessory. It would be a big flashing neon sign on top of my roof that I could activate with various messages for the purpose of communicating with my fellow drivers. It would be much more effective than my usual mode of communication (flipping the bird) as the messages conveyed would be specifically tailored to the transgression being committed. A sampling of these messages are as follows (caution - may contain language not suitable for children as well as my parents):

1. GET OUT OF THE PASSING LANE, DICKHEAD!!
2. USE YOUR DIRECTIONAL SIGNALS, MORON!!
3. STOP TAILGATING ME, ASSHOLE!!
4. NO STOPPING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET, JAGOFF!!

That last epithet is one that's unique to Pittsburgh, for you out-of-towners.

Pissed Off Pittsburgher Pennsylvania Primary Post

How's that for alliteration? Anyway, I haven't posted in a while, so I thought I'd chime in with some thoughts on our primary. I believe the fellow who came up with the phrase, "be careful what you wish for," must have had the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania in mind. We have been moaning forever about how our primary comes too late in the season to mean anything. Well, we finally got our chance to stand up and be counted and let me tell you something. The entire experience can be summed up in one word: BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The candidates are predictable, their sycophantic supporters are predictable, the media is predictable, and the voters are predictable too, especially here in Western Pennsylvania. I would recommend that the next time we have a meaningful primary here that the outcome be based on one of those steel cage ultimate fighting death matches between the 2 candidates. Now that's something I might be able to get excited about.

Starbucks Musings

I have this thing for Starbucks iced coffee. I don't like their hot coffee (too acidic) but their iced coffee hits the spot. So the other day I went to Starbucks in Bloomfield and I get stuck waiting behind someone who actually had a list of coffee drinks for herself and about 6 buddies, and each drink order was the usual incredibly complicated hodgepodge of extra shots, special flavors, and just the right amount of foam. Fortunately, there are Starbucks about every mile or so in the city, so I went to the next Starbucks down the street and got my iced coffee in less time than I would have spent had I waited in the previous Starbucks.

Anyway, Starbucks supposedly has a new hot coffee that won't erode the lining of your stomach so I'll have to give that a try some day. Actually, this idea of theirs could backfire, since I think the reason people order the expensive coffee drinks is that their regular coffee is so bitter. So they may get more traffic in the stores if the new coffee is decent, but folks will be less likely to get ripped off ordering their fancy lattes and machiattos.