Customer Service From Hell

My kids are currently travelling in Australia. Before they left, we went through great pains to make sure they had cell phone service while abroad. Supposedly, this is a piece of cake when you activate the international roaming service through AT&T wireless. It's probably a bit more expensive than other alternatives, but the simplicity of it all made it very attractive. So we activated the international roaming service before the trip expecting everything to go smoothly. Boy, was I wrong!

My daughter calls me from Australia from a landline to tell me that her phone doesn't work. So I call AT&T customer service and this is the comedy of errors that ensued:

Customer Service Agent #1 - She tells me that the international roaming service should be in effect on the phone and she doesn't know why it doesn't work. But she does give me another number to call that specifically addresses international phone service.

Customer Service Agent #2 - She tells me that the international roaming service somehow did not register to the phone when it was initially ordered. The solution is to discontinue the service and then reinstate it. However, she cannot do this so she has to transfer me to another agent.

Customer Service Agent #3 - She tells me that she cannot do what Customer Agent #2 wanted her to do because my phone service is technically on a business plan and she cannot handle any service on a business plan. So she transfers me to -

Customer Service Agent #4 - This idiot tells me that my daughter's phone won't work in Australia because it doesn't have the proper bandwidth. I know this is wrong because every previous agent has checked this and said that the phone should work fine. I walk him through the AT&T website location where you can check to see if your phone will work overseas and I actually have to convince him that the phone is not the problem. Then he goes ahead and does what Customer Service moron #2 had initially recommended.

So after all this, I am dubious that my daughter's cell phone will ever get any service in Australia. My favorite piece of advice I kept getting from all of the agents was to have my daughter call this great toll-free customer service number from her cell phone so AT&T could troubleshoot the problem. I had to point out to them that she can't call the customer service number because the phone doesn't get any service!

Money Changing Woes Continue

It happened again today. My bagel and coffee cost $4.04. I gave the cashier $10.10. He gave me six dollar bills in return. I politely advised him that he still owed me six cents change. He was totally confused. Finally he gave me back a dime.

This is really starting to get worrisome. I really think it is an indictment of our educational system. All of the cashiers I've encountered recently that don't know how to make change are young. Unfortunately for them (and me), they are using cash registers where the change is not calculated automatically so they have to do it in their head and they are obviously not up to the task. At some places the cashier enters the amount of cash submitted by the customer and the register figures out the change automatically, so it's almost impossible for the cashier to screw up, but I'm sure they'll figure out a way eventually. Maybe I'll just go cashless and use my credit card for everything, but I really don't like using plastic for small transactions. It tends to make my credit card bill as long as War and Peace.

Land of the Challenged Money Changers

Didn't Jesus go berserk when the money changers pissed him off? Well, I was almost tempted to pull a comparable tantrum when I last visited Starbucks. I was charged $4.07 for a coffee and apple fritter. By the way, can't Starbucks get some decent pastries? Those things really suck! But I digress.

I gave the sweet young thing behind the counter $4.27 and she gives me a dollar bill as change. When I patiently explained to her that she owed me twenty cents, she looked at me like I was from outer space. Finally, a co-worker had to come by to instruct her on the finer points of making change. I think the trend towards using debit or credit cards for all transactions these days, no matter how tiny, has nothing to do with speed or convenience. It's because no one knows how to make change anymore!

Oh Joy in Muffin Land!

I know you're probably sick of my search for the perfect muffin, but I couldn't help myself because all is well in Muffin Land. Yes, the Giant Eagle on Centre Avenue finally got its act together and has a cart dedicated to muffins and bagels with everything clearly labeled. So today I hade a delicious raisin bran muffin and made up with the staff I have been terrorizing since they downsized their muffin selection a few weeks ago.

Don't Mess With the Muffin Man

I almost lost it at the Giant Eagle this morning. I decided to give them another chance despite the fact that they have downsized their muffin selection. So I go up to the bakery and was again disappointed that they didn't have any of their scrumptious raisin bran muffins. However, they did have some decent looking "good morning" muffins so I picked up one of those and went to get a cup of coffee and then pay for my breakfast at the coffee shop. Lo and behold, they had a solitary raisin bran muffin in a tray right next to the cash register. So I asked if I could exchange my crappy "good morning" muffin for their delicious raisin bran muffin and I was refused, since I had already touched the aforementioned "good morning" muffin. Yes, as my leprous, plague-riddled hands had touched their precious muffin, it was no longer fit for human consumption by anyone other than yours truly.

I was so pissed off that I really wanted to throw that muffin right in the checkout person's face. However, I resisted that temptation for fear of the headline I was visualizing in next day's newspaper - "Deranged Man Arrested for Assault With a Deadly Muffin".

All Drivers Suck (Except Me, Of Course)

I've often dreamed about having this car accessory. It would be a big flashing neon sign on top of my roof that I could activate with various messages for the purpose of communicating with my fellow drivers. It would be much more effective than my usual mode of communication (flipping the bird) as the messages conveyed would be specifically tailored to the transgression being committed. A sampling of these messages are as follows (caution - may contain language not suitable for children as well as my parents):

1. GET OUT OF THE PASSING LANE, DICKHEAD!!
2. USE YOUR DIRECTIONAL SIGNALS, MORON!!
3. STOP TAILGATING ME, ASSHOLE!!
4. NO STOPPING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET, JAGOFF!!

That last epithet is one that's unique to Pittsburgh, for you out-of-towners.

Pissed Off Pittsburgher Pennsylvania Primary Post

How's that for alliteration? Anyway, I haven't posted in a while, so I thought I'd chime in with some thoughts on our primary. I believe the fellow who came up with the phrase, "be careful what you wish for," must have had the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania in mind. We have been moaning forever about how our primary comes too late in the season to mean anything. Well, we finally got our chance to stand up and be counted and let me tell you something. The entire experience can be summed up in one word: BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The candidates are predictable, their sycophantic supporters are predictable, the media is predictable, and the voters are predictable too, especially here in Western Pennsylvania. I would recommend that the next time we have a meaningful primary here that the outcome be based on one of those steel cage ultimate fighting death matches between the 2 candidates. Now that's something I might be able to get excited about.