Don't Be a Sucker (Like Me)

Man, do I feel like an idiot. I was actually enticed by those Wendy's commercials for their supposedly new "Boneless Chicken Wings," in 3 enticing flavors - Bold Buffalo, Honey BBQ, and Sweet & Spicy Asian! So I hurried on over to Wendy's and ordered up some of those delicious sounding Asian boneless wings. Well, I knew I was in trouble when the employee charged with filling my order had to ask her supervisor, "which bottle do I use?" Because the scrumptious sounding "Boneless Chicken Wings" are actually their crappy chicken nuggets with some sauce from a color-coded bottle squirted on them, thus yielding chicken nuggets with a disgusting gelatinous flavored coating. I suspect that "Chicken Nuggets with a Disgusting Gelatinous Flavored Coating" did not perform favorably among their new product sampling focus groups so they came up with the more pleasant sounding "Boneless Chicken Wing" terminology, which is totally misleading. First of all, this thing is not and never was part of a chicken wing (I'm not even sure it comes from a chicken). I suppose it is boneless, but by the same token it is flavorless and probably chickenless, and warrants a full scale investigation by the FDA, FCC, and FBI! So there!