What follows is a diatribe on what I consider the most heinous crime one can commit - exceeding the posted item limit when checking out of the express lane. I dont know what pisses me off more - the idiots who commit the crime or the supermarkets that don't enforce the posted limit. You would think it would be easy enough to enforce. I'm sure the cash register can keep track of the number of items it scans. If you go over the limit, that's it - you are unceremoniously ejected from the premises. Actually, when I' stuck in line behind one of these jerks, I pass the time by thinking up appropriate punishments for their transgression. My favorite is that when they go over the limit, a trap door opens and they immediately plummet into the bowels of Hell.
However, I must admit that I am a little conflicted about a crucial issue with regard to the express lane. If you buy a dozen bagels, does that count as one item or twelve? There really ought to be clearer guidelines on this before one faces the possibility of plummeting onto the bowels of Hell.
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I think the rule should be that each time an item is scanned or punched into the computer, it counts as one item. For example, 5 apples would count as one item provided they are all in one bag, since the sales person only has to enter in one item number for the purchase. But, if one were dumb enough to put their 5 apples into two separate bags, thus making the sales person enter the code for apples into the computer twice, that would count as two items.
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